On cheap sublimated soccer jerseys

There was a little kid, like definitely over five and under ten. He had a little red wagon full of cheap badly counterfeited soccer jerseys and scarves. People were mobbing this family and taking them as fast as the little boy could hand them out. Cash only. Twenty bucks for a jersey, five for a scarf. Scenes like this play out all of the time in much of the world. It is rare in America. Even in New Jersey. So I joined the kind of chaos normally reserved for a trading floor at a stock exchange. People were yelling. Money was changing hands. Cash only. When they’re gone, they’re gone.

I finally got to the little kid. He didn’t speak a word of English, had holes in his shoes, and was wearing a hand me down tank top that was probably older than me. The options were Messi XL or M and Dybala XL or M. I knew from experience that the sizes were not standardized and to always get the XL. If it fit like a dress, too bad. Better than it being doll clothes. “Dybala XL.” I said, handing away a $20 bill. He handed me a Messi. I shook my head. He handed me a Messi in a smaller size. I shook my head again. He made eye contact and then pointed at the wagon. The message was clear, take whatever one you want, old man.

I got my Dybala, which somehow fit. Ethical gray area? Sure. The family probably sold 100 of them, 90 Messi to 10 Dybala if I had to guess. Getting them at that quantity, I bet they spend $1 each on them, less on the scarves. The cash-only pop up shop was gone almost like it had never been there at all. Dybala changed jersey numbers from 21 to 10 and he didn’t even show up to the practice. I didn’t care. I had a great souvenir. Ethically, a family got to eat, and I didn’t spend big bucks on a shirt that would have cost Adidas $5 to produce. I’m not losing any sleep over it.

Some of you may still be wondering what a sublimated soccer jersey is. There are five tiers of soccer jerseys. The top tier is the ones that are the same as the ones worn on the field. The next tier is the “fan cut” ones that are still made by Nike, Adidas, etc. These are meant to have beer and ketchup spilled on them, and are meant for people with dad bods instead of soccer physiques. They’re a little cheaper, and the details are not quite as good as the player edition. Below that are the highest quality counterfeits. Often indistinguishable from the untrained eye, they have Adidas logos, sleeve patches, can be customized, and cost about a tenth of the cost of the real McCoy. They’re also made in sweat shops, have sloppy stitching, and are not one sigma much less Six Sigma compliant. At the end of the day, it is still just a tee shirt, and it is not like the labor practices of the companies who make authentic ones are any better. Below that is the Canal Street special. These look legit from a distance of about a quarter mile. The sizing is wild, and they don’t have Nike Logos, etc. The fonts are correct, but odds are they have grease stains or some other huge defect. Being they are sold in the backs of shops in major cities, these abominations go for higher prices than one would expect for the quality, or lack thereof. And last, but not least (a matter of opinion I guess), we have sublimated. These are the ones that are sold for cash in open air markets and car trunks, preferably 1000 feet from events. The seller will often preface the transaction by getting deadly serious and asking “Are you a cop?” They have bad logos, if they have logos at all, incorrect fonts, and sometimes a sleeve will fall off or something. Love em.

Why the hell would I want something so cheap? Many reasons. I love the grittiness. I love that if you buy one you almost certainly have a story to tell afterward. I love this part of the economy. But what I love most, and a ton of people hate most, is that they are sublimated. As in the names, numbers, logos, etc are part of the shirt, and not heat pressed or sewed on. This cheap eye sore has durability that a regular soccer jersey just doesn’t have. All of the other tiers, even if you use the gentle cycle, there is a huge risk every time you wash and dry it. Names and numbers can melt. Championship patches can peel off. The fabric around logos tends to shrink just enough for them to look shitty. None of that happens with cheap sublimated jerseys. All of those features are built into the garment itself. The cheapest most gauche garment you can buy will actually probably last the longest and be easiest to care for.

I have soccer jerseys in my collection from all five tiers. I wear them, too. They’re shirts, not museum pieces. I love being in a global city and buying a jersey or a scarf before a match. There’s a stigma, but I don’t care. If you’re ever in Milan or Madrid or wherever, YOLO, buy the jersey and scarf.